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In the age of HIV, we often forget about how love and romance can be a natural, healthy, and wonderful part of being human. We should not forget to protect ourselves and our partners, but safer sex doesn't have to be a drag.

I am a strong advocate for romance, and believe we should all have it in our lives. Romance is certainly due for a revival. This page is dedicated to what I think makes life exciting and worth and romance.

Click here for some valuable advice to women on love and sex from Laurie Cabot.


A Condom Blessing

This blessing calls for the powers of the elements to strengthen the bond of protection afforded by a condom without diminishing the pleasure of sex.

On a plate or in a bowl on the altar is a collection of condoms to be blessed. Sprinkle them with pure water into which sea salt has been stirred, calling forth the power of Earth and Water that formed the Primal Sea and from whence all life has sprung. Pass the bowl through the smoke of incense or other fragrance for air and pass the bowl over a candle or other flame for fire.

Take the bowl to the Four Quarters, beginning in the East and say:

Guardians of the Est, Powers of Air and pollen and the windborn seed, bless these with your power that they may sheathe the wand of life as the pinecone sheathes the seeds that will become the new tree. Let only love and pleasure pass between those who use them.


Guardians of the South, powers of fire and the flame of passion, bless these with your power that they may increase pleasure and love for those who use them, and let only pleasure and love pass between.


Guardians of the West, Powers of Water and all things fluid, of the waters of our body, bless these with your power that the sea within us should know its bounds, even as the seas of the world are contained by the land. Let only love and pleasure pass between those who use them.


Guardians of the North, Powers of Earth and all barriers, bless these with your power that there may be a boundary and protection for those who use them, letting only pleasure and love pass between.
Returning to the altar, hold one condom aloft and say these or similar words:

Circle of pleasure, protect and guard from contagion. Keep and ward, that every act of love and lust may be enjoyed in total trust.

The Love Altar

If You Are Single:

In a special place of your choosing, preferably your bedroom, a special meditation room, or a garden--set up a little table. On this table, place your Protector, which is an object such as a small statue, which strongly inspires you, and next to it a small flask or bottle containing the essence of a flower. You can use such essences as jasmine (brings luck in love), rose (which inspires romantic love), or sweet violet (brings softness and vulnerability). If you love the sea, add a seashell or a few pearls on your altar. Pearls contain a warm, precious energy. They symbolize the woman's inner secrets, and they mean "long lasting love". If you wish for everlasting love, a diamond on your love altar is sure to fullfill your desire. However, if you just want to have fun, relax, and have a few warm nights, without the hassle of a committment, use garnet, the stone for good sex and fun, and add to thae altar a little red chili pepper. Complete your altar with a candle, which you will light at sunset every day, for a few minutes at least, and a fresh flower. The flower can match the essencence, or it can be any beautiful flower of the season. Keep the flower always fresh, changing it when it begins to fade. Whenever a wish has come true, take this flower and hang it upside down to dry in a dark room or in a cupboard. Then place it i a box where you keep your written incantations for love rituals. This flower is charged with strong magick and can help you with your spells. WARNING: If the water in the vase you put the flower in becomes cloudy or starts to smell foul, this could be a bad sign. It may mean that you are somehow fooling yourself, pretending to wish for love in your life when in fact you are keeping it away.

If You Have a Partner:

If you can convince your partner join you in maintaining a love altar, your love will be granted more assurance and success, and help you to remai close. However, you can maintain the altar yourself and it will still be effective. Start the altar in the same way described above. Instead of the Protector, however, place an image of the two of you together. It can be a casual photograph, taken at a moment of closeness, or it can be a formal portrait. Having a picture of the two of you happy and in love can help you focus your energy towards the purpose of keeping your love and sexuality alive. Always have two fresh flowers on your altar, red ones for passion, pink ones for romance and white ones for love. Also place a magick stone on your altar. They are very strong for magick, so use them only if you are sure of your feelings. A ruby is good if you want a very deep, passionate love affair. Red jasper is for a warm, sensuous love. Garnet is for sexual pleasure, and diamonds are for everlasting love. Let your stone lie on a velvet cushion, a dark one for a clear or pale stone, a light one for a darker stone. Lastly, place two candles on the altar which you will light when you are performing magick, and especially while you are making love with your partner at night. No one but you and your lover should touch or move any of the objects on the altar.

Essential Oils for Love


The best quality of this essential oil is called "Neroli of Melangola", and is extracted from fresh flowers of bitter orange, or citrus bigradia. This variety is the best one to use for magic. It alleviates anxiety and nervous depression, acting as a natural tranquilizer with hypnotic, sleep inducing properties. It purifies the blood and also has a striking effect on the heart. The scent helps in raising the sexual potential of both men and women. Its hypnotic, relaxing effect melts away all the layers of tension and anxiety which lead to premature ejaculation in men. It helps the woman expand her capacity for excitement and passion in love making. Before you make love with your partner, put a few drops of neroli in a scent burner at the foot of your bed. Place two candles at each side of the bed and put a red cover on the bed. This will ensure the presence of the fire element. If the moon is waxing or full, you can be sure that the night will be memorable, with many more to come. Neroli magick is also great for those tend to have sex quickly without enjoying its pleasures, as well as those who are slow to reach their potential for excitement and passion. Reputedly named after the Roman emperor Nero.

Rose: The Heart Opener

The best oil is derived from the roses of Bulgaria, the demask rose. This is called "Rose Otto", and is extremely expensive. One little drop is enough to grant you success in love. The oil is toning and revitalizing, and soothes the nervous system. It is a well-known aphrodisiac. When you are feeling tense and uninspired, you only need a drop of rose oil to feel the joy rise up inside of you. It is one of the most powerful and unique aids to performing Love Magick, and it will help you find the right partner, strengthen the love between you and your partner, and it will help you develop the feeling that you are loved and worthy of love. Sacred to Aphrodite.

Ylang Ylang

Distillation of the flowers of the tall tropical tree native to Asia. Most of the oil is produced in Madagascar, Reunion, and Comoro Islands. Always use the more expensive Ylang Ylang Extra, which has a vastly superior aroma than the other productions. This is because it is collected from the "first running" in the distillation process. It is a pure yellow liquid with the consistency of water. It has an intensely sweet aroma, a floral scent reminiscent of almonds and jasmine combined. A heady, antidepressant aroma; and a reputed aphrodisiac. It blends well with other florals, citrus essences, vetiver, frankincense, and geranium. The name means "flower of flowers". In Indonesia the blooms are scattered over the beds of the newly married couples on their wedding night to promote sexual desire and to ensure that the marriage will be blessed with many children. As well as an aphrodisiac, this oil is said to bring about a feeling of peacefulness.

What Effect Are You Looking For?

If you're looking for oils that may have a particular effect on your partner, this may help:

Erogenic: Essential oils which have scents that mimic the nature fluids of the body include: sandalwood, rose otto, rose absolute, jasmine, neroli, and clary sage. The earthy smelling essences of patchouli, oakmoss, and vetiver are also regarded as erogenic.

Narcotic: Intoxicating aromas which tend to dull the keenness of the logical thought processes include: ylang ylang, rose otto, rose absolute, clary sage, chamomile, jasmine, neroli, vanilla, frankincense, cedarwood, sandalwood, vetiver, and patchouli. Most have a sweet, mellow overtone. The scent of natural drugs such as opium and cannabis resins also have a smooth, sweet and soporific aroma.
NOTE: I must remind you here that although the scents of these oils have their effect on the body very subtly, please do not use them as an attempt to control others, or take advantage of them against their will.

Anti-erogenic: Oils with refreshing, uplifting, or cooling aromas include: lavener, geranium, basil, bergamot, lemon, orange, lime, mandarin, grapefruit, pine, cypress, peppermint, juniper, and petigrain. Most of these oils could be described as "hygienic smelling".

Stimulating: Oils with activating or exciting aromas include: coriander, cardamon, cinnamon bark, ginger, clove, black pepper, elemi, and rosemary.

Love Letters

Scented love notes are the perfect way to embrace your lover from a distance, especially if the scent of your letters is the one that he/she associates with you. Scents can stir memories of erotic evenings, and create anticipation of spending precious moments together.

The Paper: Take time in choosing the appropriate paper. It could have a parchment-like quality, and be pleasant to touch. Make it a work of art. Color is also important, maybe your lover's favorite color. If you choose a dark paper, like indigo, be sure that you get a white or silver-colored pen to write with. Try using a fountain or caligraphy pen, to create a letter that will be beautiful to look at. If you have sloppy handwriting, do not worry, it is the thought and love that counts. It is still better that you write the letter, since this has to be something that is between you and your lover.

The Scent: If there is already an oil or perfume that your lover associates with you, then use that scent for your letter. Traditionally however, rose is the oil for lovers. Other alluring scents include ylang ylang, jasmine, sandalwood, and neroli.

Application of the Oil: There are a few methods for this. For the first, 24 hours before sending the love letter, sprinkle 6 drops of essential oil onto a piece of tissue. Put this into a polythene bag with the paper. Flatten the bag to expel the air and close it tightly. Leave for 24 hours, the paper will absorb the fragrance. If time is limited, use the second method: put a few drops of a single oil onto a corner of the paper, where it will not smudge the ink. When applying a blend of oils, put up to six drops in a cup. Mix together with your little finger, then dab onto a corner of the paper. Once in the confined space of the envelope, the oils will begin to permeate both the notepaper and envelope. Although this method leaves a mark on the paper, it gradually diminishes as the oil evaporates.

Here are some blends of oils you may want to use:

Lady Chatterly: 4 drops of bergamot, 1 drop of coriander, and 1 drop of rose.
Adonis: 2 drops of lemon, 1 drop of rose, and 2 drops of sandalwood
Forever Scarlett: 2 drops of black pepper, 1 drop of geranium, and 2 drops of ylang ylang
Truly, Madly, deeply: 3 drops of bergamot, 1 drop of clary sage, 1 drop of grapefruit, and 1 drop of jasmine


Amorous Artichokes

4 artichokes
2 bouillion cubes disolved in 2 C water
1/2 package stuffing mix
1/2 stick melted butter
1/3 to 1/2 pound mushrooms, chopped and sauteed in a little oil
1/2 cup chopped parsley
Seasonings: salt, pepper, parmesan cheese

Trim tips of artichoke leaves with scissors.
Boil the artichokes in the bouillion, covered, for ten minutes.
Drain and scoop out choke with the point of a spoon.
Mix the other ingredients and stuff the mixture into the artichoke cavity and between the leaves. Sprinkle with the seasonings. Bake at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes.

Love Apple and Cucumber Salad

2 ripe, firm tomatoes, native if possible.
1 cucumber
Italian dressing or vinaigrette
Chopped Italian parsley
Seasonings: tarragon, salt, white pepper

Slice the tomato thinly. Score the cucumber by pressing down on it with a fork from top to bottom on all sides. Slice to around the same thickness as the tomato.
Arrange on a dish in circles of alternate slices. Coat with the dressing. Season lightly. Sprinkle top with parsley.

Warm and Affectionate Eggnog

1 raw egg
2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup warm milk
1/4 cup rum or brandy
Grated nutmeg

Beat together the egg and sugar. Add the warm milk, then the rum or brandy. Top with the nutmeg.

Mousse Aphrodite

4 eggs separated
12 ounces chocolate bits
1 pint heavy cream
1/4 cup chopped walnuts, pistaccios or almonds

Melt chocolate bits in a double boiler.
Put the egg whites, the yokes, and the cream in three separate bowls. Beat the yokes. Beat the cream. With a clean beater, beat the whites until stiff.
Add the melted, cooled chocolate mixture into the whites.
Add that mixture to the whipped cream and blend with the beater until smooth (there is no need to fold the whites in).
Sprinkle with the chopped nuts. Refrigerate, or better still, serve frozen.

Engangement and Marriage: Superstitions & Traditions

If a man proposes to a woman on Christmas Eve and she accepts, they will happy married life together. However, if he proposes to her in a church, the marriage will be cursed by bad luck.

It is extremely unlucky for a man to propose to a woman on a bus, train, plane, or any other public place.

An engagement ring containing pearls is believed to bring unhappiness to the marriage.

To dream about eggs portends that you will soon be engaged to your true love.

If an engaged couple is photographed together before their wedding day, they will soon part.

If a girl turns down a proposal while at a dance, she will receive good luck in the near future.

It is considered unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose name begins with the same letter as hers. It is even more unlucky to marry a person with the same last name according to an old English verse: "Change your name but not the letter, you change for worse and not for better".

According to the Romans, it is unlucky to get married on a Friday, and even unluckier if that Friday falls on the 13th of May.

Good luck comes to those who get married on Saint Valentine's Day or the last day of the year. It is also said that Wednesday is a lucky day for weddings. If you marry on a Tuesday, you will be blessed with riches.

For a long and happy marriage, the wedding should always take place at the time of the New Moon.

A woman who marries on April Fools Day will "wear the pants" in the marriage.

To see a shootin star on the night of your wedding is a good omen.


The sense of smell has often been linked to the "sixth sense", which could lead us to suppose thar by consciously employing regular use of essential oils in a loving relationship, our sixth sense could be developed, making it easier to "pick up" what our lover needs and wants. In this way, it could be possible for couples utilizing aromatherapy and constantly developing their appreciation of natural fragrances to become more tuned in to each other, and therefore more able to anticipate each other's sexual needs.

Just as our natural body secretions signal to our partner that we are in the mood for sex, we could use certain essences in the same way. For example, if rose or sandalwood oil were used during lovemaking and became associated with making love to one's partner, then after that period of time it would be possible to initiate lovemaking by wearing those scents. Sandalwood closely mimics the body's natural pheromone, and is therefore a sexual attractant. Your body can be fragranced with different subtle, erotic aromas, keeping your paryner's sense of smell fully alert to the different nuances emanating from various parts of your body. The following are suggestions for perfuming various parts of the body:

Diluted rose oil can be used on the nipples
Neroli or patchouli can be used to scent the pubic hair
Diluted vetivert or patchouli can be used on th thighs
Jasmine can be used around the waist or to anoint the navel
Clary Sage can be used for your upper chest and neck
Sandalwood Oil can be used on the genitals
Myrtle, which brings heat to wherever it is applied, can be used on the inside of the thighs or the labia
Dilute rose in camelia to perfume your lips, and they will taste divine

To Anoint the Yoni:
1 drop rose
100ml spring water
*Shake well before use
1 drop neroli
2 tsp runny honey
1-2 tsp water
*Blend well so the mixture is thick but liquid
1 drop rose
1 tsp runny honey
1 tsp water
1 drop rose
1 tsp camellia oil
1 drop ylang ylang
1 drop sandalwood
2 tsp camellia oil

Society has done a wonderful job in telling us that physical appearance matters a great deal, and that all women must have perfect bodies. Being uncomfortable with our bodies can often be a barrier to wonderful lovemaking. The first step in being able to give ourselves fully to our partners is being comfortable with ourselves and the way our bodies look, feel, taste, and smell. There are several ways to get to know ourselves and the ways we like to be made love to. The following is an exercise that should be done alone, setting aside some time for yourself.

Go to your mirror. Stand close and stare into the eyes of the woman reflected there. Keep staring. Most people will sooner or later blush and look away. Don't feel sad; You are in essence, looking at a stranger. Repeat the exercise until you find yourself getting to know this woman. Repeat it until you smile a warm welcome into her eyes. If you have books or magazines that depict the Goddess, thumb through the pages, and admire her in your own way. Ask yourself if the drawing depict the cultural stereotypes of a beautiful woman in today's society. Is she fat? Does she have big thighs? Is she too tall, too short, too masculine? After answering these questions, find the beauty in the photographs. Now go the mirror again. Look at yourself thoroughly and see the features and beauty that you have seen in the pictures of the Goddess. Gently caress each feature as you see it. Pay special attention to the features you dislike. Remember that each woman has the Goddess within her. When you go out into the world, admire the Goddess in every woman.

A Meditation For Identifying With the Goddess

Relax. Center. Ground yourself. Breath deeply and rhythmically. Begin to feel each breath as the ebb and flow of waves on a beach. Slowly begin to sway with the rhythm. You are the Earth. You can feel the almost imperceptible rotation. You can sense the chill on your night side, and the radiance of the sun on your day side. The top of your head and the bottom of your feet are faintly cold. Great oceans move with your breath. Great rivers cross your land and feed you. You can look out at your own moon, which silently circles you and your sister planets on their own paths. Far away other suns are circled by other planets. You feel the pull of each and in turn pull mildly upon them. If you wish, begin to hum a tone or a succession of tones as you feel the different cycles touch you in turn. Be aware of your Earth body: sense the valleys and mountains, the forests and deserts, the creatures scattered throughout. Feel deep inside your molten core. Feel the change in your tilt and the change it effects on your surface. Stay with these images as long as you like. Come out slowly.

When you focus all of your efforts on positive lovemaking, you allow yourself to express your divine nature. You become one with the Goddess and her consort. Romantic sexual exploration serves as a mode to generate vast amounts of energy that can be applied to patterns you create through your expectations, desire, and rapport with oneness. Making love uses feelings and emotions like threads to weave patterns specified by you and your partner. These patterns become a sacred tapestry representing your union. Sexual exploration, using ancient knowledge and ritual, provides a bridge between the manifest and the unmanifest. Making love moves you to a magickal place where time and space change and you flow beyond the routine world of logic and fact. Earthly reality becomes transient, and the mind prepares to accept the incredible and the unknown--to be free, unfettered, and divine. Remembering your divine nature through sexual expression deepens your sense of personal awareness and reality. Allow yourself to rediscover the magickal oneness of life, and do whatever most arouses you to love.

From The Politics of Womens Spirituality By Charlene Spretnik:

Sexuality is sacred not just because it is the means of procreation, but because it is a power which infuses life with vitality and pleasure, because it is the numinous means of deep connection with another human being, and with the Goddess. Witches value diversity in sexual expression and orientations, recognizing that different people have very different needs and capacities. Sexual ethics are based on honest recognition of one's own impulses and desires and honoring one's true feelings rather than either repressing them or feigning a level of desire which does not exist.

Sources Used For This Page:

Essence of Love By Maggie Tisserand
Love Magic By Marina Medicini
Loving the Goddess Within By Nan Hawthorne
Greenfire: Making Love With the Goddess By Sirona Knight
Erotic Aromatherapy: Essential Oils for Lovers By Chrissie Wildwood

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